This world can make you hate yourself.
Societal beauty standards developed to make you feel insecure.
Hurt people who are going around spreading that hurt.
Every time someone says something mean to you, or you feel like you don’t fit in, or you criticize yourself, you fall further away from loving yourself. What if I told you that all of those societal standards are bullshit? What if I told you that the mean things people say have more to do with them than they do with you? Would you believe me?
You should. There’s valid logic behind it.
If people didn’t feel like their body HAD to look a certain way, would diet culture, gyms, and plastic surgeons be so successful? Yes, there will be people who still seek those things (myself included, I got my boob job for me and the gym is my therapy), but the numbers would be lower. So many people do these things not because they want to, but because they feel like they have to. The same can be said for so many other industries. Those industries don’t want to lose their money. If you love yourself, you’re less likely to fall for their “this will make other people love you” marketing ploys.
When people are angry, are they nice to others? When people are hurt, are they nice to others? Not usually. When people are happy and truly love themselves, are they nice to others? Absolutely. So these people who are being assholes, calling you names, telling you to change this, that, and the other…do you think they’re happy and love themselves? Of course not. Should their opinion matter to you? Not in the least. They’re lashing out to bring you down with them. Don’t fall for it.
Eventually, you develop self hatred. If you can hate yourself first, they can’t hurt you, right? You can’t drag somebody down who is already down.
“Shawna, how are you gonna bring this around to boudoir?”
I’m gettin’ there.
There’s so many ways that boudoir can help you fall back in love with yourself.
Before your shoot, we do a wardrobe consultation. I help you pick outfits that will look amazing on you. Sometimes the clothing we wear is not flattering to our body type so it adds to us not seeing our body at its best. I’m guilty of that from time to time. The wardrobe consultation is done virtually if you prepay for product collection 1, 2, or 3, or in person if you choose option 4 or 5. I have years of experience in dressing bodies and can definitely help you find things you’ll feel comfortable in and fall in love with! You also get access to our client closet if you’d like to use it.
In my studio, we include your hair and makeup. This step is incredibly important because it can help calm your nerves. While you’re in the chair, we’ll talk about so many different things. By the time you’re done in hair and makeup, you’ll feel like you’re just hanging out with friends! We also double check to make sure you love the look, so feel free to let us know if anything needs to be changed.
During the shoot, I show you how to do the poses and encourage you by letting you know how great you look! I’ll also show you a shot or two on the back of the camera so you can see just how beautiful you are. Unedited.
You’re in a supportive environment. You feel beautiful and comfortable. There is no one here to tear you down. Your first instinct is to have fun and see your beauty, and it is correct. If you’re a good person, you are beautiful and you deserve to see it.
I’ve had so many women cry when they see their photos. The whole process can be cathartic. All of those years of undeserved criticism, self loathing, and subliminal messages of body hatred just…slip away.
However, if you’re not ready to shed those layers of self hatred that you developed as your safety blanket, boudoir isn’t going to be as helpful for you. If you can’t or won’t drop that shield, my “LOVE YOURSELF DAMNIT” bullets can’t penetrate it. My best advice is: drop it. It’s not worth the effort to carry it.